just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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