Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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