Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just pee around me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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