I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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