Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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