trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize