I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
