He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
