...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So squirting runs in the family.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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