We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
