): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I want a musical about memes.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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