I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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