yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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