Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
