I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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