I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
