we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
