i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
