just come out here and I will go home with you...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
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So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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