Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
