I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
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you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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