Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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