Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
