there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
