It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
