My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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