I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
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the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize