real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!