You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
