Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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