i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
