We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
