I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
