I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
its not stalking. its research.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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