we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize