Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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