Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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