Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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