That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
