They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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