i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
