dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
