i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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