He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
