Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
