so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
