i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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