Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
