how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
