This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
