I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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