u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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