great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
