Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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