u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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