he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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